Staunchly, vol. 23: Your Own Private Absurdities

(Originally posted: 5/14/17)

Happy Sunday fam,

This Comey firing you guys. This Russia investigation. Are we living in the most What-the-F**k era of American politics? In the history of the world? Maybe. Probably.

Here's tonight's Sunday Self-Care Recipe, featuring two things that will make you ask What the F***k, but in a fun way, I think.

Indulge in your own private absurdities to escape the brutal absurdity of the world, I say.

Biologique Recherche Masque Vivant + Sextrology

 1. Bioloqique Recherche Masque Vivant (Rebalancing Face Mask) 
You guys, this mask. It’s so perplexing. I have zero idea what it does. I know it’s fancy and French and beloved by beauty blogs and I can only buy it from this spa in Philadelphia and every time I use it I look like I’ve slept 15 hours and have never touched a drop of alcohol and also I’m so young I can’t even spellalcohol. It cleans and clears and tightens and smells worse than literally anything you’ve ever smelled in your life. Seriously horrible. Like rotten marmalade. Like a dumpster fire at a boulangerie, which you would think would smell great because, hello, bakery, but nah a dumpster fire anywhere is still a dumpster fire and this one is just more like…yeasty (*shudder*).
And yet—and yet!—I maintain this is the best mask I have ever used, even though I can’t fully articulate why. Buy it, use it, and let’s go on this journey of discovery together.


2. Sextrology: The Astrology of Sex and the Sexes
You guys, this book. It's so absurd and SO amusing. My friend Emily gifted it to me a few years ago and it has been the MVP of nearly every girls’ night since. Few things are more fun than pouring over this ode to pseudoscience with friends (or studying it alone), analyzing the supposed “romantic” proclivities and perversions of every astrological sign. Pour yourself a crisp glass of something and enjoy this outrageously dirty exploration of the cosmos and her kinks. 
That’s your homework for tonight. Smack on a face mask that smells like ass and read about ass-trology (I’m proud of that one).


Before I leave your inbox, I want to wish all the mothers out there a Happy Mother’s Day, including my own incredible mom, who is currently enjoying a much-deserved vacation. You’ve given me everything and more and constantly expanded your heart and patience to meet the demands I’ve placed on you. I know you hate my ink, but my “staunch” tattoo is as much a tribute to you as anything else. You are the staunchest, most elegant and tenacious woman I know. I’m so lucky.

I want to leave you all with this beautiful sentiment my internet crush Alex (@sashalaa) made on Instagram. She is one of the most beautiful and empathetic minds and everything she writes heals a tiny bone inside me that I had forgotten was broken:

To mother is to nurture another life with care, protection, affection, and unconditional love. No matter how or from whom you get this, or how or to whom you give this; you are mothered and are mothering. Happy Mother’s Day wherever you may be on the journey to or spectrum of motherhood. To those who have experienced loss on either side of this type of relationship, I am sending love and light.

Staunchly yours,