Staunchly, vol. 96: Somebody Tell the White Men We Are At Capacity

It’s May. Got allergies? Blame botanical sexism. That’s a real thing, and further proof of my hypothesis that the root of all evil is a messy male.

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Humans Are Speeding Extinction and Altering the Natural World at an ‘Unprecedented’ Pace by Brad Plumer (NY Times)

There are stories and then there is The Story and this is The Story. The one that makes everything else happening in the world feel cosmetic and granular—tiny, unseemly spots on isolated leaves in a forest that’s almost completely on fire. According to the summary from a soon-to-be-released UN report, human activity is accelerating the possible extinction of one million plant and animal species, an alarming decline in biodiversity that threatens the livelihoods and safety of every being on Earth.......!!!!!

AirPods Are a Tragedy by Caroline Haskins (Vice)

“Why did we make technology that will live for 18 months, die, and never rot?”

Whoa whoa hold up you’re telling me there’s no ethical way to own bougie, plastic, technologically-evanescent, class-signifying ear goiters produced through a global supply chain of mostly exploited labor which will literally. never. ever. decompose and instead bake into the earth’s crust for many millennia past the expiration date of our last possible vibrations as humanoids??

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How Dieting Culture Is Making Women Less Healthy by Beth Winegarner (PS Mag)

“Diet culture is the inescapable behavioral paradigm we live with in the West that normalizes food restriction and hunger suppression and values thinness above actual health.”

This piece is particularly salient to me today because I just spent a weekend with an aunt who measures her life in Weight Watchers points and achieves a false sense of control over her own mortality by maintaining neat, sinister rows of 100-calorie vanilla pudding packs in her fridge. Diet culture is the devil.

Why I — a Bland White Guy You’ve Never Heard Of — Am Running for President by Eric Levitz (NY Mag)

“If you want the truth, then read my lips — I’ve got half of my retirement savings invested in water, and another quarter in Albertan farmland. When the Ogallala Aquifer dries up, I’m going to be a fucking zillionaire.”

I’m sure Michael Bennet is fine but oh dear Gaia why does every peaches & cream white man with big, glazy Ralphie-gets-the-BB-gun cheeks insist on wasting my goddamn time.

More:

Sexual assault in the military increased nearly 50 percent over the past two years.

Grannies Against the Right. Zaddies of GoT (I don’t agree with all these choices but it’s important to have the conversation). Measles ruin a Scientology dream cruise. Billy McFarland stole my memoir title. A shameful ruling in sports. Billy Porter forever.

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A new podcast about a serial killer who targeted the gay community in Toronto and the police department that failed his victims, from the polite Canadians who brought us Escaping NXIVM, is up next on my binge queue.

Also, Game of Thrones was bad last night right?

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