Staunchly, vol. 84: Are You Ready to Be Exalted

1/29/19

You have two days left to buy your ticket to the Junior High Gala! It’s going to be a wildly fun night for a spectacular cause, I guess…I don’t know…why you wouldn’t go? 

Need more incentive? I for some reason agreed to emcee the thing. Everything I know about emceeing I learned from Jada Pinkett Smith in her white sex priestess power suit in Magic Mike 2: A More Magical Summer. So things could get a little weird. 

Tough pivot but happy birthday to my Aquarian overlord, Mama Staunch herself! Without her there would literally be none of this, and how sad would that be! 

AOC posted her skincare routine on her Instastory (without mentioning specific brands, because she didn’t want it to seem like product placement, which is withholding but noble). IDK that’s all I’m really capable of talking about in politics this week. Also Pelosi has some blind spots when it comes to women of color but wow when she turns it on she can really make it rain male tears.
 

And when a columnist began a question on Friday by calling Trump a “very complicated” person, she interrupted.
 
“No,” she said. “I think he’s very simple.”

Here’s Your Abortion Survivalist Guide For An Impending Emergency: Q&A With Author And Activist Robin Martyby Naomi Elias (The Establishment)
 
There is a very possible scenario that in the next few years we will experience a de facto ban on choice in huge chunks of this country—even without the Supreme Court overturning Roe. Never underestimate the malicious craftiness of men who want to control women’s bodies. This interview with the woman who wrote “the anarchists guide to abortion” is important reading. In short: don’t panic; prepare (and organize). Know your options. Gather the facts and resources you think you’ll need if your bodily autonomy gets put in jeopardy. Print useful information in case the material disappears online. This may all seem paranoid but, sadly, it is not.
 
These Are the 5 Women Killed in the Florida Bank Shooting by Gina Martinez (Time)
 
A man walked into a Florida bank last Wednesday and shot five women execution style. Our systems have evolved to metabolize news like this quickly, but we should sit with this for a while.
 
What Was It About Animorphs? by Frankie Thomas (Paris Review)
 
An essay about the animorphs in the mf Paris Review? I had to double-check to make sure I didn’t write it.

I don’t think we loved them for their allegorical resonance. We loved them because they were exactly what they appeared to be: a series about five teenagers morphing into animals to fight aliens.

Biden and Beto Boosted GOP Candidates in 2018. That’s Disqualifying. by Eric Levitz (NY Mag)
 
I love Beto but yeah, now is not the time to be a Bipartisan Betty. I’m looking for staunch in my 2020 Democratic candidates, not empty comity.
 
How Hotel Employees Are Trained to Spot Human Trafficking by Brittney McNamara (Teen Vogue)
 
A promising look at a global chain taking steps to combat human trafficking in its hotels. By no means a panacea (underpaid, overworked hotel employees shouldn’t have to be heroes), but a good step forward.
 
Plus: I wish I loved anything as much as the Academy loves a story about an inequitably transformative interracial friendship written by a white man. Have we been tricked into having periods even though they are medically unnecessary? And can you tell the difference between a Lorelai Gilmore Godfather quote and a Roger Stone Godfather quote? Also: “the contest comes down to two grown men squabbling over a shared delusion,” a look into the battle for dibs on France’s nonexistent crown.
 
Oh, and lastly. The smartest thing I read about the Fyre Festival was something I saw on Instastory by Maryam Ajayi (via my friend Monica): 

It’s been a week of ups and downs, with some slight mania and OCD spikes as my body readjusts to being on a high dose of Prozac (I had to go off when I had the flu and couldn’t keep anything down). This 1000-piece Dobby puzzledidn’t help matters. I don’t really know how to pivot out of this section? Meds are tricky? Bodies are complicated? I guess I just want to say thank you to everyone who has been patient with me in the past few weeks as I’ve stared at them with wild eyes and woven a story with 37 tangents like I was braiding a challah. 

One of my 2019 ~ intentions ~ was to start a book club and I did it! It’s a small group (I can think of 20 more women in Los Angeles County I’d love to talk books with on a monthly basis), but I kept it intimate on account of my anxiety.
 
The theme is 20th Century Women and each month we read a book written by a women from a different decade, moving through the century as we move through the year (some decades are split between two months). Of course I chose the pool of books (I am a dictator*), though I let my friends make the final selections (*but a benevolent one).
 
This month we read The Mysterious Affair at Styles by Agatha Christie (not my vote but quite a yarn) and February is Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier. I’m actually quite proud of the master list I made of 10-15 books written by women for each decade. I think I need to read them all? Maybe I’ll send the list out in a Staunchly (or as a perk through Patreon—which I am starting to think seriously about…unless you think it’s a horrible idea?).
 
Anyways, the first meeting of the 20th Century Women Book Club was wonderful and feisty. We talked about the book for 15 minutes and then about scams and shitty interns for three hours, which is exactly how I envisioned it.
 
If you are curious about how I lifestyle-d the thing, I made a blood orange upside-down cake (this one from my girl Melissa Clark) and a luxe spread of fruits and cheeses from Trader Joe’s. You probably know this already, but everything you need to make an outstanding cheese plate you can get at TJ’s for a steal. I also went to the flower mart downtown early Saturday morning to pick up some red amaranthus (muppet flower), lavender hydrangeas, and a single pastel anthurium to display in this funky new cobalt vase I bought at the Sensual Home pop-up at Days LA. My friends brought more treats from TJ’s, Irish chocolate, and wine, and we had ourselves quite the time!

The internet can be trash but it can also be a place of exquisite gifts and remarkable innovation. An example of the latter: this website that lets you fill your home with the ambient sounds of Hogwarts. From the Great Hall to the Library, even the Leaky Cauldron, there are lots of options to choose from, and you can even mix around with the sounds like Paris Hilton DJing a ketamine promotional video in Ibiza. Excuse me while I go do some writing in my place of spiritual home, the Slytherin common room.
 
Also, the Viktor and Rolf show has been meme’d to all get out but damn these dresses hit the spot. I’m not sure if something so literal is fashun but it’s fun!