Staunchly, vol. 112: Grandmillennial Burnout

9/16/19

Is it 2020 yet?

I think the debates are making me dumber. The postgame analysis definitely is. The MSNBC commentators have become a guild of brain-eating amoeba—Nicole Wallace, Chris Matthews—sucking down on my cerebral tissue like crab legs at a Joe’s Seafood lobbying dinner. Somewhere on ABC, Rahm Emanuel tries to tell me what “disqualifies” someone to run for president. I remember how Emanuel helped Chicago police cover up the murder of black teenager Laquan McDonald, burying dashcam footage for a year, and I wonder why that doesn’t disqualify him from being on my TV screen.

Ok, now I’ll tell you what I thought about last week’s debate. We all have lives, so I’ll keep it pithy.

Warren was great. I like Bernie more when he’s cranky—makes it all feel even more like a Curb skit. I’m underwhelmed by Harris. Biden started strong, but paternalistic racism has a way of always rising to the top like cream in the glass of unpasteurized whole milk Grandpa Joe drinks with dinner. (I just really don’t think our nominee should be a white man whose dentures dislodge in the middle of a heated debate, call me crazy).

Amy Klobuchar makes me miserable. Mayor Pete’s “debates aren’t for fighting!” moment was the precise moment I decided I didn’t want to hear another word from him for at least five years. (I know everyone thinks Castro is a dick but his response to that was legendary, and I loved how he came for Biden about cherry-picking Obama’s legacy for the sweetest, least-murdery-drones, mass-deportations-y bits).

I didn’t see March of the Penguins but I think speaking ill of it should disqualify someone from running for president, so bye Booker (look at me disqualifying people now! Watch out, Rahm). I was happy there were no questions on reproductive rights because this is settled law and I’ve never felt so secure in my bodily autonomy across these 50 beautiful states, from sea to shining sea.

I thought Beto was good on guns but his performance felt like a swan song, with so many of the other candidates praising his good, human work after El Paso. I thought Jorge Ramos and Linsey Davis were excellent moderators whose questions held the only urgency of the night. Oh, and remember when Yang called immigrants “human capital” and implied they are only valuable to America because of their entrepreneurial spirit? Bow out of the race and miss me with that neoliberal bullshit.

Lastly, I’m just going to restate what I said on Instagram: If Biden is the nominee and he loses to Trump, it will be because he is a weak candidate, not because other Democrats exposed these weaknesses in the primary. I’m so sick of the pundits and candidates (Klobuchar, Pete) feeding into this narrative of infighting as if this isn’t what a primary is about. We need a fighter not some consensus candidate that gets nobody’s dick up! End rant.

“During his Senate testimony, Mr. Kavanaugh said that if the incident Ms. Ramirez described had occurred, it would have been ‘the talk of campus.’ Our reporting suggests that it was.”
The 18th trans person has been killed in the US this year. A black transgender woman, her body was found burned beyond recognition.
This piece by Jamil Smith in Rolling Stone, “Why It’s Time for Joe to Go,” is the smartest debate analysis I’ve read.
The men “brought down” by #MeToo have not been missed.
A trans story where nobody gets hurt. (Many cheers for a multi-dimensional understanding of representation that doesn’t only equate marginalized stories with trauma reckoning).
“Why would you expect free shipping from the nice lady in Iowa who hand-knits afghans?”
WHERE ARE THE YALE PLATES?
Susan Alexandra’s fashion bat mitzvah.
I can’t believe there’s no diaper in the diaper astronaut story!!!
A smol delightful piece about my favorite podcast.
AOC endorses Markey over Kennedy (again: wtf is Joe Kennedy doing)

Nobody:
My friend Maddie: Actually it’s a micro moon.

Last Friday was a very special Friday the 13th with a full moon (a full micro moon but whatever, Maddie!). I enjoyed this Vice piece about how patriarchal religions stole Friday the 13th from women by attributing all the bad stuff in Christianity with a day and a number previously observed as a celebration of divine, feminine energy. I am happily doing my part to reclaim it! This past Friday I picked up some fresh weed, lit some candles, opened a perfect cabernet I stole from the cellar of a man who has been bad to me, and read through the wonderful Envisioning the Empress zine from Modern Woman. I crafted a mantra about abundance (which I will never, ever share) and set some intentions. Cast a spell even! Which is really just saying something with feeling until you believe you have the power to hold it true, which you already had, you always did.

I haven’t listened to the latest episode yet but the “1619” podcast from the NY Times is sensational. Excellent research and reporting with captivating, expansive storytelling led by Nikole Hannah-Jones produces something I can only describe as clear, crisp, gutting, brilliant, unsparing, and defiantly hope-sparking. Absolutely essential.

This week’s Saturday Staunch (forthcoming! Saturday is a vibe not a day to me, apparently) will be a special preview of the Staunchly back-to-school shopping guide. Get access to the goods before everyone else! Still the ever-flowing river of existential terror over my writing career that threatens to break through my tenuous levees of emotional stability and flood my prefrontal cortex with paralyzing self-doubt! Or. What. Ever.

Nothing has made me feel more seen, aesthetically, than this House Beautiful explainer on “Grandmillennial” style. Chintz! Toile! Florals! Embroidery! Wallpaper! Cloth napkins! Ginger jars!!!!! My heart!

For inspiration, here are some of my favorite examples of Grandmillennial style (which I like to mix with modern and Greek revival touches)