Staunchly, vol. 90: Butterfly Clips for the Modern Woman

3/21/19

If you’re interested in supporting Staunchly, and receiving an extra weekly issue (The Saturday Staunch, which actually does come out in time), please consider supporting the Patreon. The first issue, about my trip to the Anza Borrego and the Salton Sea, went out last weekend. Here’s a taste:

On the drive home, I thought about how to be Californian and to love California is to be in a dance with impermanence. To see the spaces you love transformed beyond recognition. A river floods. A flood becomes a lake. A lake dries. A dry bed becomes a crack of dust in a desert.

Hands down the best political commentary I’ve seen this election cycle. I can’t compete.

2020 Candidates as Vines pic.twitter.com/Zm91GYL6Wy
— Thomas Hatfield (@THatfieldMO) March 15, 2019

Here’s a bunch of things I read this week, in no particular order:

Less than a week after the horrifying mosque attacks in Christchurch, New Zealand has banned assault weapons, bump stocks, and high-capacity magazines. This is real life, not an episode of Black Mirror: how algorithms promote extremism. Was this the first “internet-native mass shooting”?

There is no offline equivalent of the experience of being algorithmically nudged toward a more strident version of your existing beliefs, or having an invisible hand steer you from gaming videos to neo-Nazism. The internet is now the place where the seeds of extremism are planted and watered, where platform incentives guide creators toward the ideological poles, and where people with hateful and violent beliefs can find and feed off one another.

- Kevin Roose, “A Mass Murder of, and for, the Internet,” NY Times (3/15/19)

Most terrorist victims are Muslim. 7 black kids got into an elite New York high school. Out of nearly 900 spots. The 6 Kinds of Woke White People. There’s a new poll tax in town. I don’t know enough about the situation, but seems like FIFA needs to take much more concrete action against the Afghan soccer coach accused of abusing countless female players. How to prepare for an earthquake if you have a disability. Neomi Rao, Kavanaugh’s replacement to the D.C. Circuit Court of Appeals, holds monstrous views—is anyone surprised? “We’re sure that your time at Digicontenthub will be dope.” Beto O’Rourke or Karl Ove Knausgård: from whose pensive zaddy quill did these sentences spill forth? I usually wince at this expression, but: this is actually why we can’t have nice things.

Also: black turtlenecks are not a scam!!! I will not let a huckster with bump-it hair and a Wayne’s World stoner brah x Maybe It’s Time To Let The Old Ways Die fake ass husky ass baritone ruin the one good thing in my life. YOU CAN PRY MY BLACK TURTLENECKS FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDS, LILIBET.

On Repeat: “Tempo” by Lizzo ft. Missy Elliott.

“Thick thighs save lives, call me little buttercup”

Also Tavi Gevinson impersonates Elizabeth Holmes* and Ivanka on Instagram. Drag those monstrous white bump-it bitches!

(*No I haven't watched the doc yet! No spoilers!)

DREAM CONTRIBUTOR ALERT! Oh boy is this one a treat. Excited but overwhelmed by the burgeoning hair clip trend, I asked my dearest friend Lauren—Staunchly logo creatrix, recent SXSW panelist, amply-tressed human—to break down the look for me. She did not disappoint. Here’s her guide to mane adornment:

If you're into fashion/beauty/~aesthetics~, you may have seen that hair clips are A Thing™ right now. Hair clips! My six-year-old self is smiling. This trend is pretty much the embodiment of the whimsy and extra-ness I always try to channel when I'm getting dressed, so I was thrilled when Carey asked me to write a guide to the hair clip renaissance.

The marketing strategist in me knows the reason we’re all so drawn to this is the nostalgia factor — scrunchies, headbands, bows, butterfly clips (were you team wire or plastic?), this thing that requires the jaws of life to extract...hair clips feel like a vestige of girlhood. They genuinely spark joy, and they’re such an unexpected choice for an accessory that they elicit lots of compliments.

If you want to get involved, here’s my recommended starter pack:

Something pearl: This is the foundation of your collection. If you're patient, order the rectangle and triangle from one of my favorite Etsy shops and wait until they arrive from Australia. If you’re the instant gratification sort, brand-I-cannot-pronounce Scünci will never fail you. Head over to your local pharmacy and pick up a pack of these cuties. Or get them all and rock this look.

A pair of triangle glitter clips: I actually shrieked when I saw these for the first time, they're that cute. They’re colorful, they’re sparkly, and they remind me intensely of the purple glitter caboodle I kept Lip Smackers in as a kid. If pink, purple, or blue feel too loud for you — beige (really a blondish gold) is subtle and perfect.

A rhinestone word: Many a cool girl has been spotted in some version of these, and I think it’s the best way to show people what you’re about. Anxiety. Feelings. Girls. You can even go bespoke. If rhinestones aren't quite your bag, might I suggest these zodiac barrettes?

Honorable mentions: Not quite a barrette but clutch for those of us with thick hair — I nearly died when I saw this translucent jaw clip at a CVS in Miami. IRL, the butterfly has some real heft and no one believed it was under 5 bucks. These little shells are so sweet for summer hair. Crescent moon and starbursts for a fancier look. And these animal snap clips, which are absolutely for children and are also absolutely in my cart.

So go forth, enjoy, and tag @staunch.ly on Instagram so we can see your lovely adorned locks.

- Lauren