In honor of the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Friends, an essay about the time Chandler wouldn’t go on a second date with a woman because her mascara was clumpy.

Is it 2020 yet?

Is orange wine bad?

My days of cheering on privileged white men are over.

I humbly offer my body as time capsule: Tattoo the story about gay penguin adoptions across my clavicle and bury me at sea for the bots to find. Let them see things were nice once.

Some magic to counter the week’s cruelty, courtesy of Simone Biles.

“If you surrendered to the air, you could ride it.”

- Toni Morrison, Song of Solomon

Alt-subject line for today’s short and sweet issue: Elizabeth Chambers Get Your House In Order

It’s peachy, juicy, reading season. Burning backs, breaking spines season. Sandy, sunny, chlorine-eyes, water-crinkling pages season.

I don’t know what’s going on in your life. Newsletters are sort of a one-way street. But Mercutio is in marmalade and there are literally 666 eclipses this summer—maybe you need to be told (or reminded) that “3 Small Words” from the Josie and the Pussycats movie is on Spotify?